Darren Messam for Much Music VJ 2013!
Hi everyone. Please click and rate my friend Darren for your next Much Music VJ. He is personable, knowledgeable and not bad on the eyes. He would make a fantastic VJ, so please vote for him daily!
International Women’s Day
Good day all.
Happy International Women’s Day to the strong sex, yet the most undervalued sex.
You know how I began my IWD? I was at a strip club. A women’s strip club.
I realize to many people that is one if the most devaluing places for a woman to be, but in my line of thinking – if the woman wants to take her clothes off for money (voluntarily, without coersion) then she has all the right to. I mean, I have no qualms with watching beautiful women take their clothes off.
This is a day you take time to reflect on what it means to be a woman. Your meaning of it and the opinion others have of it. All the good times being a woman and all the times you wish there would have been a slight chromosome move.
I personally love being a woman. I love being an expressive, smart, hardworking and sexual woman. No boost, but that shit is amazing. As with all good things I hate being a woman too…..period. Enough said. But otherwise I am blessed to be the gender that I am.
In Canada and abroad there are numerous infractions imposed on women that are unfair and cause us to be marginalized even though we are half of the worlds population. It makes me sad that there are still some glass ceilings for women, while men have it wide open for them. Are things changing?
Maybe. I don’t consider myself at the front line of any women’s battles to have a knowledge of the current status of women but I know what I see.
I know I am a female bouncer. It makes me feel powerful and sexy at the same time. I am aware that I’ve worked many places where my male counterparts are uncomfortable around me and thought I was of no use, when I actually ended up being the better worker and overall better at my job. Why? Because women do bring a different aspect to a usually male dominated field. We just handle certain situations better.
I know I am a female NFL fan. I get more annoyed with my male counterparts during this rather than bouncing. Where if you make one comment on twitter that male NFL fans disagree with the FIRST comment made to you is “back in the kitchen. ”
Oh I see all of that. But you know what??? I don’t give a fuck.
Really. I find men who need to put women down or even women who need to put other women down are nuisances and have mommy or daddy issues.
Strong women don’t budge for any weak comments. Rising above, even with a glass ceiling, is mandatory. We can’t chill, we have a whole gendered stigmatization to fight.
Strippers. Mothers. Bouncers. NFL fans. Gay. Straight. Confused. Politicians. Cooks.
Whatever you are. Whoever you are. International Women’s Day is for you.
Don’t ever forget what women prior to you had to do for you to have the opportunities you have and the rights you are privy to daily. Nothing came easily and nothing came without the support of other women and some good men.
Have a wonderful women’s day, cherish what you have and keep your eyes on success.
- Mirna
Toronto Addict
(I will really have to warn you all, this is a semi-rant, not a full rant, just me putting thoughts down that I have been feeling. It’s a little fucked up. But if you choose to take the journey, maybe you’ll see too.)
I have a habit. A very bad habit.
I’m addicted, I know I have been addicted and the addiction is almost going into its third year. I try to control myself, I try to control the addiction – but I can’t hide from it and I can’t get away from it.
My addiction feeds me and makes me hunger. It’s a vicious addiction because it sustains me, builds me up, but also deflates and tires me.
I’m addicted to Toronto.
I know this is an unusual addiction, but I can’t help myself.
I’ve been living here three years and my immune system couldn’t be any worse. My sleeping habits couldn’t be any worse. My work schedule couldn’t be any worse. My soul couldn’t be any worse.
All I do is work. All I do it study. All I do is go out. I feed into the beast.
You can’t be in Toronto and NOT trying to make something of yourself. Toronto is an addiction (for me, and I am likely to presume many others) because while it has SO MUCH opportunity, people like me take ALL AND EVERY of those opportunities.
You’re on a high, constantly. A Toronto-high. Sleep? Why sleep? If you sleep you’re missing out on the funniest shit on twitter, the best club nights, the best after club food spots, getting paid, getting laid, meeting interesting people – having A story to tell your friends who don’t get the luxury of living here. You’re so high you don’t even recognize your lows anymore.
No high is ever HIGH enough. It’s dismal. What were your highs are not your mediums. Just have to keep climbing.
Now, you must be reading this like “this bitch crazy.” I know I probably am. I don’t discount the fact that being addicted to a city, a lifestyle is fixable. It isn’t something you inject or something you smoke. It is addictive, it is capable of being a detriment to your physical and mental health – it does have cravings, it does have withdrawal. You leave Toronto, go party elsewhere, go work elsewhere….what is the first thing you do? Compare it to Toronto. “Oh this in Toronto would have been better. Oh this in Toronto would have been more live.” Just always keeps you coming back.
I know many people who aren’t too fond of Toronto, but in my opinion they aren’t about hustling or a speedy lifestyle. I don’t begrudge those who prefer slow and steady but that’s just not me. I live Toronto on an Elvis high.
If Drake ‘Started from the Bottom’ well fuck, we can too. But we are so high we don’t even see the bottom anymore. There is not a place you can be lower in Toronto than to be at the level of mediocrity. Mediocre doesn’t pay bills, mediocre doesn’t love you – mediocre is pathetic. You don’t want to be pathetic.
Realizing further into this post I sound like an insomniac who pops molly’s and trucker pills to go to work and school – I am not that. I don’t maintain my high through drugs I maintain my high through life. The life I live, in Toronto.
I know it’s bad for me. I know I cannot relax until I’m NOT in this city. Whether I’m at home in Hamilton, on a beach in Cuba or at a fete in Barbados – I’m more relaxed than when I am in Toronto. Then I return. Feed my addiction some more.
Can’t relax if I don’t feed the addiction. Travelling and time off cost money, money is made while I’m on my high. Fucked up situation.
I don’t want to belittle real substance addiction because that is a very serious topic. However, I rarely drink and I’ve never done drugs so I can’t speak on those addictions. We all run away and keep our thoughts busy for different reasons and in different ways. There is no ‘chill’ in the mind of an addict.
So I’m off now, sitting at work – half asleep because I was out until a time of day where most people may awake to go get their newspaper. Detriment to my sleep and my body but oh well, I had a good time. I fed it, this addiction of mine.
- Mirna
Fete Peeves
Good day everyone.
This past weekend I went to one trash event on the Friday (which shall remain unnamed, *cough* death *cough*) and Return Fete – which was freaking amazing.
So I would consider myself a fete-goer, I’ve been to more than a few since living in Toronto. There seem to always be the same kind of pet peeves in these fetes that annoy the shit out of me though. I feel if they annoy me, then they probably annoy a whole bunch of other people unless they are a) the perpetrators or b) too drunk to care about life. lol.
So I dub this, ‘Fete Peeves‘
1) Don’t be a short man. – Listen. LOL. I’m not hating on short men…..but. You have to understand women who’s asses are at your stomach/chest have to put in SO much work to dance with you. Because we know your ass being EXTRA and going low to0 so by the time we done, I’m at YOUR knee level. DO YOU KNOW HOW LOW THAT IS? There are plenty good looking short men that hey, we happy to go low for BUT there is more uglies than pretties. SO PLEASE, men – wuk within some range of your height.
2) Hold your ground. - Okay so this is for men also, I’m sorry – I will eventually stop picking on you. Maybe. For the love of strength and masculinity, learn how to hold your fucking ground. This may go along with the first point I made too but you all need to get stronger or something. When there is a packed fete it is fucking annoying that the man in front of you can’t hold his ground when a woman give him wuk. So you’re constantly being swayed at or being pushed back because his back strong. Go drink some Irish Moss. Thanks.
3) High Heels. - Yeah. You chicks knew this was coming. GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON YOU’RE WEARING HEELS TO A FETE. JUST ONE. Realistically, I actually do not give one rasshole if you drop on the ground and break your ankle but stay the fuck away from us regular flat-foot folks. The amount of women who stagger (and, they WILL stagger) and then step on my foot with heels or drop on me is annoying as fuck. If you must insist on wearing heels either get stronger legs or stay in your cozy corner.
4) Newbies. - Everyone has their first fete. This is a fact of life, at some point, you had never been to a fete in your life. I don’t personally know why you attended the fete but for the love of Korean Jesus please don’t be a cunt. There is pushing in a fete. There is sweating. There is powder. Relax your cunt or don’t attend. You can always tell who newbies are at fete, for example, last night a fight broke out at the fete. At fetes there are RARELY fights and when the people got kicked out the rest of us were booing them. It was extremely embarrassing that in the middle of a performance people decided to fight. Leave your drama at home and bring your big boy elbows kids. There are many nuisances at fetes, we all know them, please acquaint yourself with what goes on before you attend just to hit on women.
5) Hitting on women. - Just after my fourth point I needed to add this as 5. Soca fetes are high pace and high sexuality. I get it. All that pelting and sweating is sexy. I feel this goes with #4 because newbies may be more likely to do this but dancing with someone doesn’t mean they are interested in you – at all. Read that – AT ALL. You may be hideous and never get play outside a fete and maybe the girl didn’t turn around or maybe your wuk is good etc. Why the fuck are you asking for a phone number in the middle of a fete? Why must you KOTCH on the ass and not leave? Save that shit for reggae events. At soca fetes it’s one and done. Keep it moving….
6) Movers. - So these are the people who need to forcibly move through a crowd at th worst possible time. Like, when Palance is playing. Like, when there is a performance on. Or even worse, when you’re wukking someone else. These people feel the need to walk THROUGH your wuk. People, you need to learn finesse. Nothing more annoying than being in the middle of some hot piece of wuk and some fat chick or dazed pot head man comes stumbling through your wuk, not around, but through. Smh.
7) Stale performances. - Read the crowd. Please performers. If we have stopped moving, so should you. I know it’s likely they get paid to perform certain amount of songs etc. But fuck. Example, the MAIN artist we want to see went n before you, you’d better realize we have somewhat stopped paying attention now. Come with energy or get off the stage.
8) Out of time wine. - Urgh. You know who you are, I know you do. I can’t imagine you don’t notice when a girl going right you’re going left. Just absolute trash. Same with women. Why are you tic tockin’ on my leg like Konshens is playing while Tusty is really whats on?? No. Stop it. Learn to get on time people.
9) People on stage. - Now let me start by saying, I’ve definitely been on stage before at a fete and landed on video. Thank you Inches. LOL. However, I know when to go and what to do. I’m not boosting at all. When I went on stage I was a) invited and b) the song was JIGGLE IT, so I, jiggled. When the fucking song on stage is 630 WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THE SPLITS? He didn’t say 915! When Backazz is playing, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HUMPING THE GROUND AND JIGGLING? Also, if no one invited you on stage – why are you up there? Watching a girl get carried off the stage last night by security was brilliant. You are slowing down the show for the rest of us, stop it. I hope that happens to every cyattie or man who feels the need to come out their place for no reason. (p.s. – yes, this applies to the fat girl who jumped on stage at FBI too – you lost, move along)
10) Oversold parties. - Luckily, I didn’t have this problem last night at Return Fete. However, let’s say you go to a party at Sound Academy (hypothetically speaking, of course) and the promoter oversells the party so much you are unable to dance, or sway, and that it is SO packed that they must allow the overflow of people to go into the VIP upstairs. Funny, it is at these parties that I see the most fights. Being a bouncer I can tell you, the higher you pack people in, the higher the emotions run and more likely you are to have fights. As I said about the newbies earlier, overpacked events will piss off even veteran fete-goers. There is no reason I should feel the breathing of someone four people behind me still. No reason at all.
Well. These are the 10 fete peeves I could come up with at this point. I’m sure many other things annoy me but this is what I came up with for now, may be a part 2 one day.
Have a lovely day everyone!
- Mirna
Groupiedom
Good afternoon all.
I hate groupies. I mean, really dislike them with a great passion.
I have worked more than a couple of concerts in my time and attended many clubs, I really cannot stand this species of person.
Starting off by saying this; 1) there will be no reference to women being groupies for women because I consider those ‘stans’ (Rihanna, Beyonce etc.) and 2) no reference to men and sports because that is obsession and also being a ‘stan.’ (Miami Heat, 49ers etc.)
Groupies.
Lord. I just don’t understand where you people come from. I work in bars constantly and you people are just so confused about your lives that I even want to slap you. AND IM SECURITY.
So last night I’m working security for an event, a group I’ve personally never heard of – not to say I’m a heavy fan of rap, but I really had never ever even seen these people mentioned on Twitter and to me, if I’ve never seen you mentioned on Twitter, you don’t exist.
So now, at one point in the night I was working the side of the stage and also the backstage. Girls make me sick. There were girls (who actually didn’t even know words to any of the songs) like FREAAAAAKING out. One girl proceeded to get on her knees and look like she was praying to the lord almighty.
The previous night there was girls taking their tops off for these guys for a free fucking tshirt….. are you kidding me? The least you can do as a groupie is be a slack ho for someone famous or for…. nvm. Just don’t do it. Why every girl seems to want these men to be captain save a ho for her?
Don’t we all remember the infamous Tyga concert in Sauga? Chicks getting naked in public for 300$ and to get to go in a car with a man who looks like a light skinned version of the District 9 creatures……I will never understand.
Now, I’m a bouncer. I’m not like, too hard on the eyes, I mean I’m not like above average and let me tell you – I even get groupies at work. Male and female. People who are ALREADY inside the club, so it’s not like they want line bypass…. people who are actually inside and just being fucking weird. ALL THE DAMN TIME. Why must you behave as such? I don’t get it.
Then, we have male groupies. Now, a man wanting a woman sexually and a woman wanting a man sexually is totally fine with me. I understand if the famous person is good looking and talented and has power – that is attractive. What I DONT understand is men who are groupies for other men.
Mavado comes for a show – men are ditching girlfriends to get a chance to “party with him.” Styles P and Sheek come to XS, men are TRAMPLING over people to get to smoke from the same blunt as these two. Men, what the fuck? I mean if you’re gay and are attracted to the performed, alright I get it. But, straight men acting like groupies for other men? I don’t understand this.
Do you feel if you smoke the same weed you’ll gain talent? Do you feel if you party with them this will be some glorified story to tell? Please explain to me why men are groupies for me. I see grown ass men defending Drake like they’re related or that they’re on his payroll. Chill the fuck out.
AGAIN – I don’t apply this to sports because I’ll be the first to say if Michael Jordan or Emitt Smith walked by me I’d be ON that trying to get an autograph on a jersey tip. But I don’t want to have sex with either of them, I am not their groupie, I admire them. I really do.
To beg and to trample people to reach someone who isn’t (or even is) successful… maybe? People want to be famous so bad, for any damn reason.
So please kids – stop being fucking groupies. I don’t care if you send a nude to Waka Flocka, I don’t care if you’re besties with Tony Matterhorn……I actually don’t care if you get battried by the whole Wu-Tang Clan. Don’t behave like a jackass. Running on stage to give your demo USB. Showing your boobs for not a damn thing. Begging to get backstage to hug an artist. Stop it.
I may be bitter because as a bouncer I have to deal with you male and female groupies in order to protect acts on stage. This is very likely. I understand that.
Just don’t be so…. urgh I don’t want to use it but ….. don’t be a thirsty wanting-to-be-famous-groupie cunt. Men and women.
Have a good day all.
- Mirna
Friends Fucking Friends
Good day all.
— there is a lot of cursing in this, yeah…..take that, take that —
I’ve been pondering this post for a while. As today is the most boring day ever in the history of me working on a Saturday, I figured I’d write the post.
So. Friends fucking friends. It’s one of those topics that at some point we have all talked about, been through, cussed someone for etc.
I am one of those people that always ends up in the middle of it. Friends who fuck each other then cause rifts in EVERYONE’s lives, people wanting to have sex with my best friends and then the worst case – friends who date and break up and legitimately fuck up all our social lives.
I don’t like the concept at all.
First, the case of the “fuck friends.” So, these are the friends that you know flirt with each other constantly, may have had sex with each other once or twice or MAY have sex with each other if they keep flirting as such. They finally end up having sex and now all your outings are filled with snide remarks about who the other person is checking out at the club that night. I can’t stand these situations because the other person always expects you to ‘tattle’ on the other one. No longer are you a happy bunch together, now you are a happy bunch – plus two people who make it completely awkward for you all night even thought at 3 a.m. they will kiss and makeup in an alley. Hate it.
Then there’s “friend thirst.” So I’ve been in this situation once before and I somewhat still go through it now. I have two male friends. One of my oldest friends, a Trinidadian and a new friend who is Jamaican. Both are very good looking men, both are my friends with absolutely no sexual history or future. Just friends. Women thirst for these two men like there is no tomorrow. Just want to pour a bucket of Dasani on a bitch n shit. I don’t care that women want them – heck I’m all about people getting laid. What annoys me is that women try to use me as a conduit to get to them. Twitter or Facebook etc. “Who’s your friends? Does he have a girl? Can you talk to him for me?” NO NO NO NO NO. Fuck off. Do I look like POF? No. I hate this position so much. We grown as hell, hit on people on your own. Please DO NOT EVER use me to hit on any of my friends. Actually, male or female. Because I don’t want my friends talking to cowards anyways. (Sidenote: no this does not make me a “hater” ….no I don’t want my male friend to myself, trust me. I just dislike being the middle person because YOU MAY end up being example #1 or even worse, example #3 – I’m trying to avoid this)
Finally, the most toxic example is “toxic relationship friends.” Well. LOL. This is by far the worst example ever. This is the friends who were together, or EVEN worse, together, break up, together, break up. Fucking brutal. I don’t think people realize how toxic this is to them, and also to those around them. Basically, you have to pick sides whether you like it or not. Going out this night, can only invite one of them because you know it’ll be totally awkward or a fight or drama break out if they are there at the same time. Then, if you are on one of their sides just a little more than the other, make a comment, they get back together – you have to lose a friend because you were ‘badmouthing’ them. There’s no win here.
These three examples are EXACTLY why I’m against friends fucking friends. If I genuinely believed some of you could be mature and just sex physically and have no ties – I’m 100% for it. But because people link sex to emotions too damn much, I just can’t support friends fucking friends.
Nonetheless, let fuck be free because I can’t stop people from what free will allows. Just before you fall to your libido, consider at least SOME circumstances around you that may occur. (No, not just pregnancy)
- Mirna
Documentary > 9to5: Days in Porn
So. This documentary is extremely x-rated as you can tell by the title of it. Please, if you are under 18, do not read this blog post. You dirty birdie.
9to5: Days in Porn is a documentary I was pleasantly disgusted and enlightened by. It was made in 2008 by a German documentary filmmaker named Jens Hoffmann and is also known as ‘the porn diaries’.
The documentary actually took 5 years to complete – shooting for three years and another two years to edit and complete. You can see it in the documentary that this took time and effort. It is extremely vulgar and graphic as it takes the viewer through 9 different members of the porn industry in Hollywood, and one in Europe.
This documentary was first shown at the Montreal Film Festival, I am not shocked at all that it wasn’t in Toronto. We are definitely not ready to see something like this, even in 2013.
There are quite a few things that will upset you, disgust you, arouse you and just completely confuse you in this documentary. Feminist or not, porn watcher or not – these are aspects of the industry you may have never seen nor ever wanted to see.
The two parts that stuck out the most to me were the discussions with Sasha Grey and what a legendary director said in the movie.
Sasha Grey a lot of people know now, but in 2008 she was just brand new. I was impressed by how mature she actually spoke and behaved because having met some porn stars, they forever talk like valley Barbie dolls. When you get to hear the first letter she wrote to her porn manager describing why she wants to be in porn, it will surprise you a little. That’s all I’ll say.
Finally, a legendary porn director, Jim Powers made this amazing comment in the documentary. He said (paraphrasing) that he admires people who do porn. These are people who do something that a great majority of society looks down upon, but they still do it. He admires those people and wants to be around those kinds of people.
That really stuck out to me. However, look out for the anal scenes, the cum all over women’s faces oh - THE PART WHERE A GIRL HAS A BAT STUCK IN HER ASS.
Yeah. Look out for that. lol
Make your own conclusions about the porn industry and this documentary, I don’t think any two people will have the same opinions about this doc. Be open minded.
The documentary runs just under two hours and can be seen here.
(Sidenote: it took forever to find a FULL version of this documentary because it has been taken down from a lot of sites, so by the time you watch this, I hope it is still up)
Enjoy!
- Mirna
